You will notice the post right before this one, from almost a month ago, was my announcement that I would be revving up the engine for some new posts. I was ready to blast your inbox with Christian theology to draw you into human liberty.
And nothing since. It’s felt like an aching tooth with a fear of the dentist. It’s been like having the house on fire, standing in the front yard watching the flames burst the windows, holding the cell phone, and yet being unable to dial 911.
I’ve been paralyzed from writing on my blogs… and I am sorry to you. Even though there is no law that I have to have a blog, I have a responsibility to follow-through on my word. I haven’t done that lately, and it is sinful.
With that said, let me tell you what’s been on my mind.
- The Whole World -
That’s what. I think of the many posts I could write. I’ll be driving, and an idea explodes in my mind – yet by the time I get home, I am thinking of the 52,339 other things that need attention.
And I’ve been terribly disoriented. A year ago I had just begun seminary, and I knew I would have my beliefs challenged. My beliefs have been challenged, but at the same time I have found myself outside of any church family. My family and I are orphaned in the brutal landscape of the American evangelical church.
On top of these changes, I have found myself in a constant defensive posture from an unexpected source: confessional Lutheranism. To my surprise, Lutherans are more threatened by Calvinistic Christianity than by Roman Catholicism, Charismaticism, cults, or any other denomination in the world.
Because I always try to hear the arguments of those with different viewpoints, I have given the Lutherans a long, thoughtful hearing. This has been tremendously disorienting to me, and in the end result, dismaying.
It has been disorienting because Lutherans are the closest Reformation brethren that we have as the Reformed and semi-Reformed. No other denomination is as similar to us as the Lutherans, yet as they frame the debate, no one could be further.
I’ve therefore been trying to find the common-ground, the middle-place where we share the same Christ, the same gospel, the same hope. Yet as I dig, I find more and more confusion, obfuscation, and rancor.
As I seek the points of unity in Christ’s body, I constantly find disunity and discord.
As I seek the local church where wise, Christ-saturated elders lead friendly, Christ-reflecting Christians I find… a lot of other things.
As I seek the clear, non-negotiables of Scripture, I find 10,000 shades of meaning in 9,999 commentators and theologians.
And I could go on. I am disoriented.
I used to believe unity was far more apparent than it is.
I am dismayed.
And so I have found it increasingly difficult to write about Christian theology and doctrine, for I am isolated, overdosed on academics, and I have few friends in whom I may confide for the type of counsel I need.
I am not going to “retire” my blogs, but rather, I am resting indefinitely. I will begin to write again when I have gained a foothold once more in the rock of clarity, wisdom, and joy that is the foundation of any and all fruitful Christian work.
And I lack those things sorely.
Thanks for reading,